speed bump(s)

woweee.

It's been a day. Normally when I go into work, I don't plan on crying off my makeup before 10am, but hey who doesn't like a little surprise every now and then?

Friends, you remember when I wrote just a few days ago about feeling God move? Well today, He was having fun surfing on the waves of my life! (wait, does that even make sense? I do not know. I blame it on the fact that my brain is dried out from crying so much today.* [*note-that doesn't make sense either. brains and tears? what? that's it; no more metaphors today.] )

Through all that I went through today, stress at work, heartache for friends, answers to other questions I've been waiting on, my God was aligning everything in place. And the part that is incredible, is God used the person who was experiencing the most heartache, my dear friend C, to send me a text that would be exactly what I needed to hear then - and in the few hours to come. While I was trying to think of words to comfort her, to encourage her, to be an example of Christ love but still be sensitive to what she was going through, she sent these powerful words:

My faith and the love of God is holding me together.

I do not question why and will not let this shake my faith.

I know all things are done through Christ.

I don't think I realized until today what His love does for me.

His will be done.

Written like someone who knows what is going on. And like I said, I read that, paused, and just thought to myself, that is someone who understands that the Lord has it in control. The things I had faced are somewhat trivial in comparison to what she is experiencing but she is confident in our Lord and the plan He has paved before her. Speed bumps and all.

So for now, my eyes - although a little puffy- are dry, and my heart is mending. But through it all, I remember these words of truth that I learned recently from here: I already know who's going to save you. I already wrote the end of your story. You were made for me and I'll never leave you; in the end, it's all for my glory!

Thank you, Jesus.

And thank you family and friends that have guided and encouraged me during my moments of uncertainty and weakness. Oh and speaking of friends, please go read this post by one of my sweet Oklahoma friends, Jena Carper. I read this while typing and uh, I think she is inside my head!

p.s. - I like listening to this song on days like this... beautiful.

pardon me...

... while I update my look on my little blog.

check in soon to see a (hopefully) fresh look!

why I've been quiet(er)...

I thought about writing many times. But I didn't.

So here I am, making myself write (or should I say, right?). Either way, it's kind of like making yourself exercise after you've been away for a while; you know you don't want to start moving, but once you do you feel better.

One of the reasons I haven't written as much is because what the Lord has been showing me. Now most of the times, I would share it. But in these moments I've been experiencing, I've felt the need to sit quietly and intimately with my God, understanding that His hand is at work... moving all around me, lining things up so that I can sit in His presence and remember just how great my God is and how small my view of Him is in comparison.

When our team was in Haiti, I heard a song, called "You Won't Relent" by Misty Edwards. I remember hearing some of the students sing this song first at our house and then a few more times throughout our trip. By the last day as they were singing I had picked up the words but couldn't bring myself to singing them.

You won't relent

Until You have it all

My heart is Yours

I'll set You as a seal upon my heart

As a seal upon my arm

For there is love that is as strong as death

Jealousy demanding as the grave

And many waters cannot quench this love

Come be the fire inside of me

Come be the flame upon my heart

Come be the fire inside of me

Until You and I are one

Have it ALL. Whew. That's alot. Have I been giving Him my all? No. Not even close. Am I really ready to give Him... ALL? As I found myself struggling, I was reminded of the words just prior to that: He won't relent. My God loves me so much, that He will not let me go through life truly feeling complete, when I am lacking so much without Him.

You haven't relented until You had it all from me; thank you, dear Jesus, my heart is Yours.

It's been a full year since the earthquake.

I remember being at my desk on January 12, 2010 around 5pm and reading about an earthquake that had just happened in Haiti. Honestly I don't really remember thinking it was that big of a deal. I didn't understand, nor could I really comprehend, how 200,000+ lost their lives in about 20-30 seconds.

As our team was driving down the busy, tight streets just a few short days ago, all I could think about was the chaos that probably wrang out that day. I could imagine the screaming that must have been heard, the tears that were probably cried, the people that were trapped with no way to escape. It was all a bit overwhelming - and that was just me trying to imagine.

Returning for the second time was definitely interesting and definitely a privilege that I am so grateful for. SharingJesus with the children of this country that is hurting - what a task set before us. But honestly, upon looking at them, you would never know that they are in pain. Oh no. The smiles on their faces, the strength in their voices as they sing, the way they move their shoulders when dancing, it would all lead you to believe that they are the richest children in the world. God is teaching me so much through the Haitians right now.

Until then, pray with me for these people. They need healing - emotionally, physically and spiritually. Thankfully, we serve a Mighty God.

two-oh-one-oh

Thankful for these past 365 days. During this year, I've had the chance to laugh, love, serve, grow, cry, apply, doubt, wonder, feel, sing, explore, fly, learn, teach, sit, listen, wait, watch and travel. The Lord has given me so much joy this year and more specifically these past couple of months; He has given me a cup that runneth over!

Right now I'm preparing to start off a new year with some more travelling. I will be spending January 1 in the Atlanta, Miami and finally Port-au-Prince airport, and spending the following next days outside of P-a-P. This trip is planned to be much like when I visited back in August – working with local school children and sharing Christ love with them.

So thankful this is how I get to start out a great, great 2-0-1-1!

p.s. - I have a new nephew! Shepherd "Shep" Eugene Tanner... sweet boy. So thankful for this little blessing!

Christmas is coming!

Christmas is less than two weeks away. Thirteen daysss, people!

But this month has a couple of other exciting things happening too...

1.) Caleb is coming hommmme! We found out last week that Caleb gets to have leave from December 23 until December 27. Only 96 hours but I am already so thankful for those hours since he wasn't allowed to take leave at Thanksgiving. Yeaaahhhh! Can't wait to see him!

2.) Baby Tanner #2 is scheduled to arrive soon! Jessie is due on December 27th but I honestly think (and hope!) it will be before then. I am so excited to meet this little one... hip, hip, hooray!

3.) I am in the midst of preparing for my trip to Haiti. While my trip isn't in December, it is not far behind and definitely on my mind alot right now. There are many things going on in Haiti right now and I'm praying that the Lord's will be done in all. I'm so thankful I have the privilege to serve the sweet children of this country!

So that is what's going on in my world... what about you?

sing over me

I heard this song at church Sunday morning and have found so much peace and encouragement through its words. May we all find peace and rest in Him!

I live in the wonder of Your love
You rise like the sun in my heart
Even when the night draws near to me
There You are

I will wade in the water of mercy
I will walk in the light of Your will
Whatever should come against me
Teach me to be still
As you

Sing over me
Draw me close to rest in Your peace
Sing over me
Oh, sing

Sing of Your unending faithfulness
That knows no doubt or fear
In the face of all that I don't know yet
Remind me of who You are

You are mighty
You will save
Rejoice over me with singing
You will quiet
By Your love
Glory over me with singing