Thursday, February 24, 2011

speed bump(s)


It's been a day. Normally when I go into work, I don't plan on crying off my makeup before 10am, but hey who doesn't like a little surprise every now and then?

Friends, you remember when I wrote just a few days ago about feeling God move? Well today, He was having fun surfing on the waves of my life! (wait, does that even make sense? I do not know. I blame it on the fact that my brain is dried out from crying so much today.* [*note-that doesn't make sense either. brains and tears? what? that's it; no more metaphors today.] )

Through all that I went through today, stress at work, heartache for friends, answers to other questions I've been waiting on, my God was aligning everything in place. And the part that is incredible, is God used the person who was experiencing the most heartache, my dear friend C, to send me a text that would be exactly what I needed to hear then - and in the few hours to come. While I was trying to think of words to comfort her, to encourage her, to be an example of Christ love but still be sensitive to what she was going through, she sent these powerful words:

My faith and the love of God is holding me together.
I do not question why and will not let this shake my faith.
I know all things are done through Christ.
I don't think I realized until today what His love does for me.
His will be done.

Written like someone who knows what is going on. And like I said, I read that, paused, and just thought to myself, that is someone who understands that the Lord has it in control. The things I had faced are somewhat trivial in comparison to what she is experiencing but she is confident in our Lord and the plan He has paved before her. Speed bumps and all.

So for now, my eyes - although a little puffy- are dry, and my heart is mending. But through it all, I remember these words of truth that I learned recently from here: I already know who's going to save you. I already wrote the end of your story. You were made for me and I'll never leave you; in the end, it's all for my glory!

Thank you, Jesus.

And thank you family and friends that have guided and encouraged me during my moments of uncertainty and weakness. Oh and speaking of friends, please go read this post by one of my sweet Oklahoma friends, Jena Carper. I read this while typing and uh, I think she is inside my head!

p.s. - I like listening to this song on days like this... beautiful.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

pardon me...

... while I update my look on my little blog.

check in soon to see a (hopefully) fresh look!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

why I've been quiet(er)...

I thought about writing many times. But I didn't.

So here I am, making myself write (or should I say, right?). Either way, it's kind of like making yourself exercise after you've been away for a while; you know you don't want to start moving, but once you do you feel better.

One of the reasons I haven't written as much is because what the Lord has been showing me. Now most of the times, I would share it. But in these moments I've been experiencing, I've felt the need to sit quietly and intimately with my God, understanding that His hand is at work... moving all around me, lining things up so that I can sit in His presence and remember just how great my God is and how small my view of Him is in comparison.

When our team was in Haiti, I heard a song, called "You Won't Relent" by Misty Edwards. I remember hearing some of the students sing this song first at our house and then a few more times throughout our trip. By the last day as they were singing I had picked up the words but couldn't bring myself to singing them.

You won't relent
Until You have it all
My heart is Yours

I'll set You as a seal upon my heart
As a seal upon my arm
For there is love that is as strong as death
Jealousy demanding as the grave
And many waters cannot quench this love

Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me
Until You and I are one

Have it ALL. Whew. That's alot. Have I been giving Him my all? No. Not even close. Am I really ready to give Him... ALL? As I found myself struggling, I was reminded of the words just prior to that: He won't relent. My God loves me so much, that He will not let me go through life truly feeling complete, when I am lacking so much without Him.

You haven't relented until You had it all from me; thank you, dear Jesus, my heart is Yours.