i'm a baby.

Dear readers,

it's me.  except a sick version of me.  

I'm actually on the upswing of this horrid cold that robbed my weekend and had me stranded on the couch and bed watching movies and sleeping all Saturday and Sunday.  I was looking forward to a restful weekend but not one that would involve lots of drowsiness (induced by meds) and lots of coughing.  

So here I am.  Writing to you all.  

I went to work today... and probably annoyed everyone with my loud, chest-clearing cough.  I also probably scared anyone who came into my office, for my voice sounded like that of a boy going through puberty.  And now, I am taking more meds to help me sleep and ease this loud, chest-clearing cough.  So I thought I'd let you see me taking said meds.  This particular med is one of my least favorite.  Most medicines I can handle because you just swallow and don't taste it.  Not this kind.  This is 8-12 ounces of pure torture.  It's called Thera-Flu, or as I like to call it, Thera-ewwwwwww.  It comes in an assortment of flavors but mi madre prefers lemon.  So it basically taste like your drinking hot lemonade, sans sugar. 

"THERA-EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW"

Analyzing...

Not excited... at all.

Getting a whiff of lemony-disgusting-ness.

I don't wannna...

But I gotta...

Success!

I never was good at winking.

That's all.  I am tired.  And my head feels like 1000 bricks are laying on top. 

her wait is over

Our Nanny went home yesterday.  Not home to our house on at 3890.  But home.  

Thinking about all that Nanny saw and experienced in her life, I become overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed with joy, sadness, hope, love.  

Nanny did not have a perfect life.  She did not lead a glamorous life.  She was a humble, beautiful woman.  A humble woman with a big smile that was contagious to those around her; a smile that did not show the pain that she experienced as a daughter, friend, wife and mother.  One reason for that smile is because of the hope she had in our Jesus.  Although things were not perfect, she had some hope that one day, every tear would be wiped away.  I draw from that same hope.  I smile knowing that because of our hope we will one day see her smile again.  But my smile is also shadowed with tears right now.  I don't wish selfishly that she were still here on earth, it is just different her not being her at our home.  It's strange going into the laundry room and not hear her television.  It will definitely take time to adjust.  But regardless of all of this, I still cling to that hope - the hope that made my Nanny smile and the hope that will keep her smiling for all of eternity.  

edit: this is one of the songs I played for Nanny while she was in the hospital.  now, I'm playing it for myself.

Dolores Young Queen went home to be with her loving Saviour on Saturday, December 20, 2008.

Mrs. Queen was born in Jefferson, Georgia on July 16, 1925. She lived most of her life in Monroe and Winder Georgia, where she retired from Walton Mills. She was a member of Central Fellowship Baptist Church in Macon. Mrs. Queen was predeceased by her husband, Ralph Queen; sons, Terry Queen and Ronnie Queen; parents, Henry Young and Mae Head Young; and sister, Helen Richardson.

She is survived by her son, the Reverend Rodney Queen (Celeste) of Macon; daughter in law, Linda Queen of Surfside Beach, S.C.; brother George Young (Nell) of Winder; and several nieces and nephews. She was loved and adored as "Nanny" by her grandchildren, Brant Queen (Jennifer) of Atlanta, Josh Queen (Kelly), Anna Beth Sizemore (Joel), Madie Martin (Tim), Jessie Tanner (Teddy), Rachel Queen, Caleb Queen and Ruthie Queen, all of Macon; and great grandchildren Ethan and Avery Queen. Mrs. Queen was also looking forward to the births of two more great grandchildren.

The family may be contacted at the residence of Rodney and Celeste Queen. Visitation will be held from 7:00-9:00 p.m. on Sunday evening at Central Fellowship Baptist Church.

Funeral services will be held at 11:00 a.m. on Monday, December 22, 2008 at Central Fellowship Baptist Church. The Reverend Josh Queen and the Reverend Jerry Walls will officiate. Interment will be held at 3:30 p.m. on Monday at Rest Haven Cemetery in Monroe, Georgia.

In lieu of flowers, memorials may be given to Central Fellowship Christian Academy, 8460 Hawkinsville Road, Macon, Georgia 31216. 

Please sign the online registry at www.crestlawnfuneral.com

Crest Lawn Funeral Home has charge of arrangements.

Galations 6:2  Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

In the chaos, in confusion, I know You're sovereign still

None But Jesus

AMEN.

day 3

Some of us holding Nanny's hand around her bed.

I am drained. emotionally and physically.  I think everyone in our family is.  

These past few days have not been easy, but the Lord is sustaining us and giving us comfort through words and actions of those around us.  Yesterday a man from our church came to visit the hospital while dad and I were here.  He was telling us that his mother in law was in the same type of state for five days before she passed.  Five days.  It kind of made me sick to think that this might continue for that long.  He then went on to say, that he knew that the Lord had it in control because they were to have been somewhere on the day of her funeral and at the place they were supposed to be at, an accident had happened.  This reminded me that we DO NOT always understand the Lord and His timing.  

I've been reminded of this many times this year.  Last night as I held Nanny's hand, I cried to the Lord, "please Lord, just take her. take her hand from mine and place it in Yours.  Restore her--eternally."  That has been my prayer alot these past three days.  We know that Nanny isn't likely to get better.  She has wanted to be with the ones she has lost and are now in heaven for a long time.  She is ready.  And we are as ready as you can be in preparing for this.  

Madie, Nanny and me at Brant's & Jennifer's wedding.

September 2007.

time to reflect

I am thankful for times like today, when I truly acknowledge and reflect what the Lord has done in our family's life. 

I sit here, listening to the struggled breaths of my dear, sweet grandmother, Nanny.  She's 83 and in those 83 years she has been through alot - good and bad and when I think about all that, I pray only one thing for her - PEACE.  

But whatever my Lord has in store for her in the hours-and possibly days- to come, I rest assured because we know that Nanny already has Everlasting Peace waiting for her in all of eternity.  And that makes my heart humbled and grateful. 

I appreciate all the prayers people have prayed and right now I ask that you pray for comfort.  Lord your will be done.  AMEN.

thankful

I am thankful that my God gives me, an undeserving person, grace.

Abudant, never-ending grace.

thank you, Jesus.