here's where it gets hard.

yesterday, I worked about 12 hours. today almost 11. we've got a big event at work tomorrow and I am hoping it will be stellar (did I really just say stellar?). so while I'm tired, anxious and trying to think of anything and everything possible for this event - I see this (among other things) beginning to take a toll on me emotionally.

and did I mention that Ruthie leaves tomorrow? she does. so, like I said...

here's where it gets hard.

tonight I had my first cry for the summer. summer time makes memories of past summers flood my thoughts. the summers after my sophomore and junior years of college I worked at a camp in Maryland.

for those of you have experienced camp, you understand what it's all about. for those of you who haven't? well here is the best way I can describe it: God strips you bare of things you "need" on a day to day basis and fills you up with Him instead. you create intimate, lasting relationships because you breathe, sleep, eat, hang out and experience everything with your coworkers. you go without showering for two weeks because someone says you can't and you want to prove them wrong... well, not everyone does that, only the gross ones. you are stretched to the limit week after week but crave more and can't wait for the beginning of each week.

although this is only my second summer in the real world, I'm not exactly looking forward to it. I will stay positive and be happy but it might be difficult. Knowing that I am missing out makes me sad.

Through all of this, I know that He has a plan for me. I am thankful that I can experience His closeness outside of the "camp life". I am glad I will shower everyday. I will strive to have a deeper relationship with my coworkers around me. God will teach me if I seek after Him.

so to all of you who will spend time ministering to little Timmy Bingley's, enjoy it. wake up early and sit by the water for me. take time to encourage each other. have fun. and know that I am thinking and praying that the Lord will use you in an awesome way. oh and take care of the baby Queen.

and to my little sister: I am incredibly excited for you and can't wait to see what your experience will be like. Be yourself, even if no one else gets your jokes... you know we would laugh at them here. Continue to let His love and joy shine through you. Get to know new people and allow yourself to be stretched outside of your norm. Don't eat too much snack shop; mean boys will call you thunder thighs=) just kidding, eat all the snack shop you want... you'll be sweating and swimming it off anyways. and always remember: UNTOUCHABLE. (hey noni, noni and a ho ho ho! check it out!!!)