i'm a baby.

Dear readers,

it's me.  except a sick version of me.  

I'm actually on the upswing of this horrid cold that robbed my weekend and had me stranded on the couch and bed watching movies and sleeping all Saturday and Sunday.  I was looking forward to a restful weekend but not one that would involve lots of drowsiness (induced by meds) and lots of coughing.  

So here I am.  Writing to you all.  

I went to work today... and probably annoyed everyone with my loud, chest-clearing cough.  I also probably scared anyone who came into my office, for my voice sounded like that of a boy going through puberty.  And now, I am taking more meds to help me sleep and ease this loud, chest-clearing cough.  So I thought I'd let you see me taking said meds.  This particular med is one of my least favorite.  Most medicines I can handle because you just swallow and don't taste it.  Not this kind.  This is 8-12 ounces of pure torture.  It's called Thera-Flu, or as I like to call it, Thera-ewwwwwww.  It comes in an assortment of flavors but mi madre prefers lemon.  So it basically taste like your drinking hot lemonade, sans sugar. 

"THERA-EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW"

Analyzing...

Not excited... at all.

Getting a whiff of lemony-disgusting-ness.

I don't wannna...

But I gotta...

Success!

I never was good at winking.

That's all.  I am tired.  And my head feels like 1000 bricks are laying on top. 

her wait is over

Our Nanny went home yesterday.  Not home to our house on at 3890.  But home.  

Thinking about all that Nanny saw and experienced in her life, I become overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed with joy, sadness, hope, love.  

Nanny did not have a perfect life.  She did not lead a glamorous life.  She was a humble, beautiful woman.  A humble woman with a big smile that was contagious to those around her; a smile that did not show the pain that she experienced as a daughter, friend, wife and mother.  One reason for that smile is because of the hope she had in our Jesus.  Although things were not perfect, she had some hope that one day, every tear would be wiped away.  I draw from that same hope.  I smile knowing that because of our hope we will one day see her smile again.  But my smile is also shadowed with tears right now.  I don't wish selfishly that she were still here on earth, it is just different her not being her at our home.  It's strange going into the laundry room and not hear her television.  It will definitely take time to adjust.  But regardless of all of this, I still cling to that hope - the hope that made my Nanny smile and the hope that will keep her smiling for all of eternity.  

edit: this is one of the songs I played for Nanny while she was in the hospital.  now, I'm playing it for myself.

Dolores Young Queen went home to be with her loving Saviour on Saturday, December 20, 2008.

Mrs. Queen was born in Jefferson, Georgia on July 16, 1925. She lived most of her life in Monroe and Winder Georgia, where she retired from Walton Mills. She was a member of Central Fellowship Baptist Church in Macon. Mrs. Queen was predeceased by her husband, Ralph Queen; sons, Terry Queen and Ronnie Queen; parents, Henry Young and Mae Head Young; and sister, Helen Richardson.

She is survived by her son, the Reverend Rodney Queen (Celeste) of Macon; daughter in law, Linda Queen of Surfside Beach, S.C.; brother George Young (Nell) of Winder; and several nieces and nephews. She was loved and adored as "Nanny" by her grandchildren, Brant Queen (Jennifer) of Atlanta, Josh Queen (Kelly), Anna Beth Sizemore (Joel), Madie Martin (Tim), Jessie Tanner (Teddy), Rachel Queen, Caleb Queen and Ruthie Queen, all of Macon; and great grandchildren Ethan and Avery Queen. Mrs. Queen was also looking forward to the births of two more great grandchildren.

The family may be contacted at the residence of Rodney and Celeste Queen. Visitation will be held from 7:00-9:00 p.m. on Sunday evening at Central Fellowship Baptist Church.

Funeral services will be held at 11:00 a.m. on Monday, December 22, 2008 at Central Fellowship Baptist Church. The Reverend Josh Queen and the Reverend Jerry Walls will officiate. Interment will be held at 3:30 p.m. on Monday at Rest Haven Cemetery in Monroe, Georgia.

In lieu of flowers, memorials may be given to Central Fellowship Christian Academy, 8460 Hawkinsville Road, Macon, Georgia 31216. 

Please sign the online registry at www.crestlawnfuneral.com

Crest Lawn Funeral Home has charge of arrangements.

Galations 6:2  Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

In the chaos, in confusion, I know You're sovereign still

None But Jesus

AMEN.

day 3

Some of us holding Nanny's hand around her bed.

I am drained. emotionally and physically.  I think everyone in our family is.  

These past few days have not been easy, but the Lord is sustaining us and giving us comfort through words and actions of those around us.  Yesterday a man from our church came to visit the hospital while dad and I were here.  He was telling us that his mother in law was in the same type of state for five days before she passed.  Five days.  It kind of made me sick to think that this might continue for that long.  He then went on to say, that he knew that the Lord had it in control because they were to have been somewhere on the day of her funeral and at the place they were supposed to be at, an accident had happened.  This reminded me that we DO NOT always understand the Lord and His timing.  

I've been reminded of this many times this year.  Last night as I held Nanny's hand, I cried to the Lord, "please Lord, just take her. take her hand from mine and place it in Yours.  Restore her--eternally."  That has been my prayer alot these past three days.  We know that Nanny isn't likely to get better.  She has wanted to be with the ones she has lost and are now in heaven for a long time.  She is ready.  And we are as ready as you can be in preparing for this.  

Madie, Nanny and me at Brant's & Jennifer's wedding.

September 2007.

time to reflect

I am thankful for times like today, when I truly acknowledge and reflect what the Lord has done in our family's life. 

I sit here, listening to the struggled breaths of my dear, sweet grandmother, Nanny.  She's 83 and in those 83 years she has been through alot - good and bad and when I think about all that, I pray only one thing for her - PEACE.  

But whatever my Lord has in store for her in the hours-and possibly days- to come, I rest assured because we know that Nanny already has Everlasting Peace waiting for her in all of eternity.  And that makes my heart humbled and grateful. 

I appreciate all the prayers people have prayed and right now I ask that you pray for comfort.  Lord your will be done.  AMEN.

thankful

I am thankful that my God gives me, an undeserving person, grace.

Abudant, never-ending grace.

thank you, Jesus.

Santa's on his way!

And so is another nephew or niece for me!!!

J & T told us on thanksgiving night that they are having a baby and BABY is due June 11! I am so excited that our family is growing yet again.

On Thanksgiving night, Ruthie, Caleb and I all went to a shopping outlet that's about an hour away. I really couldn't believe to see as many people as I did. And the lines were ridiculous.
But I did get some GREAT things at J.Crew! Yipee! And I got something else but I'll save that for later.

Our house has finally quieted down again since our family went back home yesterday ad today. It was nice to wake up to the sound of rain and just think. Now me and caleb are watching the UGA-Tech game... which is not looking good right now since they're up by 10. Hopefully we'll come back soon!

And for a few of you that were at AB's wedding in March, SCOTCH made it's reappearance this week! Only on the left side this time though?!??? Hahaha=)

Happy Holidays, sweet friends!

Edit: UGA just got a TD... Gooooo Dawgs!

Mmm...

Two reason I'm happy right now.

Sleeping in until 8 tomorrow and currently watching "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation".

Bless.

Another note from the hair dryer...

It's official...the holidays are here! There are a few things that made me realize that yesterday:

1.) christmas music 24/7 on the radio
2.) getting stuck in Macon traffic on the way home from work (that never happens)
3.) family coming home...like Caleb last night!
4.) two days off of work starting tomorrow
5.) one fully Christmas decorated house on my street
6.) a craving for dressing and gravy
7.) a jealousy that came over me towards all of my college friends that get the whole week off for break

... and the list goes on.

So celebrate and be thankful! Make memories and tell people you love them... yes, even the ones that get the whole week off.

my blog siesta is over...

...and here I am back writing to you. It's not really been that long, but I've just had a few changes that have made me to lazy to sit at the computer. Well, one change mainly. I bought an iPhone a few weeks ago and now I don't get in the computer as often to write about what's going on with me, racequ.

But that will probably change now that I have found this fancy little (FREE) application which allows me to write on my phone, say, when I'm drying my hair... like I am now. Just call me a multi-tasker. Oh and thank you, Steve Jobs. Absolutely brilliant!

this is for a very special person.

Only one person I know will love this post.  So if you are not that person, just ignore it.  

The World's Fattest Man (700 lbs) Gets Married!

By Charlotte Triggs

Originally posted Tuesday October 28, 2008 05:25 PM EDT

Manuel UribePhoto by: Dean Chapple / Splash News Online

The world's fattest man, Manuel Uribe married his girlfriend of two and a half years, Claudia Solis Sunday night in a blowout ceremony in Monterrey, Mexico. 

Not that their fiesta was easy to pull off. Uribe, who once weighed more than 1,200 lbs. before losing 530 lbs. on the Zone diet since 2006, is bed-ridden and cannot walk. To transport Uribe, 43, to the wedding, friends placed him onto a bed adorned with satin sheets and garlands of peach and yellow roses, then hoisted him onto a flat bed truck to be driven across Monterrey to the posh Club de Leones. Five hundred guests were on hand to celebrate the nuptials. 

Once inside, all eyes were on Uribe's bride Claudia, 38, as she descended a spiral staircase, dressed in a strapless beaded gown and tiara. "She's so beautiful," Uribe tells PEOPLE. "I get butterflies in my stomach every time I look at her."

"Manuel was so excited, he was crying tears of joy," says his physician, Dr. Barry Sears, founder of the Zone diet. As the newlyweds partied until 2 a.m., greeting friends and holding hands while swaying to traditional Mariachi music, it was clear, "he was having a great time, and he should!" says Dr. Sears. "This is a great moment for him." 

As for their honeymoon? "We will have one, but it will be here in my house," says Uribe. "I can't travel yet." 

But the former mechanic is just happy to be married. "I used to ask God to please send me a woman who would love me as I am," says Uribe, whose bride also helped care for him in the months before their wedding, cooking him chicken fajitas and helping him bathe. "I'm so thankful that he sent me Claudia. I know if she loves me as I am now, with this problem that I have, she'll love me when I'm finally able to walk again."

relief.

For the past couple of months, I've had something that has been bothering me.  I am not a confrontational person.  I don't like making someone feel uncomfortable and I hate the idea of hurting someone.  But with that comes alot of personal grief and frustration (not to mention, being taken advantage of).  

So today, I finally said what was bothering me to someone.  And it feels so much better.  The thing is though, I knew all along that it would make me feel better if I got it off my chest.  But I could never bring myself to it.  What I want to know is, is how do others face confrontation?  Do they cower away like i so often do?  I'm sure its not just me out there that feels this way.

Speaking of relief, there is one thing I am not so relieved about.  The upcoming elections.  Is anyone else fearful of where/how our nation could end up?  My hand is raised.  There is so much information out right now.  It's crazy.  And the more I read, the more fearful I become.  One thing is for sure though, EVERYONE SHOULD VOTE!  Don't waste your chance to speak up this election year.  

Tomorrow, I have to be up super early to be at the Alzheimer's Walk.  Carlyle was/is one of the top sponsors this year thanks to all the staff and residents hard work.  There is one resident in particular that helped with many of our trivia fundraisers.  I found out today at lunch that she passed away this morning.  She was always (up until her final day!) so involved in things in our community.  Even yesterday I saw her up in our offices and I said hello, never knowing that would be the last time I saw her.  My prayers and thoughts are with her family.  I was  blessed to know her and be around her influence in our community.  She will be missed. 

twenty-one things from my twenty-first year...

I have so much to be thankful for during my 21st year. This is a quick list (in no particular order) of things I am grateful for and grateful to have experienced in my 21st year.

edit: I am happy to say that this list could go on and on for hours.

1.) My name on a piece of styrofoam to-go box. Ethan learned to write this year and he wrote my name for me while out to dinner one night... only an aunt can appreciate this!

2.) College/Graduation. Seriously, where did four years go??? I am so thankful for all that i was able to do and be apart of in my college time. The people God placed along my way and the things He allowed me to experience will never be replaced.

3.) Weddings galore. My two sisters, Madie and Anna Beth got married to two wonderful men of God. My sweet roommate, Emily and her husband Dallas. Good friends, Megan and Spencer. And childhood/high school friends Claire and Will, and Megan and Brett. Not to mention all the people at camp that gained a husband or a wife=) 27 dresses, anyone?

4.) Text messages. Now some might think this silly, but this makes my life that much better. now, quit laughing at me.

5.) Ouuu-ttthiide. Apparently my niece, Avery, has somewhat of a lisp and we sat on the porch one day, laughing our heads off while we repeated this back to each other.

6.) Forts. While babysitting Eth and Ave one night, we built a fort and hid. I love hearing where I child's imagination will take them.

7.) Magic Bullet/Power Smoothies. One of the greatest kitchen tools ever and I used this tool to make a special treat for Ethan so that the "bears" that were coming after us in the woods (living room) will stay away from us. (see what i said about imagination?)

8.) GCSU Homecoming. Having the honor to represent my school, is something I will always appreciate.

9.) Hosanna. One of the most incredible songs I have ever heard. If you haven't heard it... tell me and I will point you in the right way.

10.) A crush on a bo.. uh, I mean MAN. Need I say more?

11.) First Job. God provided me with an amazing job and incredible people to work with. It is so awesome to look at how He ordered all the steps that led me to Carlyle.

12.) Carlyle Place Senior Olympics. Checkers in the Olympics, really?!?!??? How can that not be one of my favorite things.

13.) Good friends. God allowed me to open up more to certain people than I ever have before, and the result is lasting friendships that are not just surface.

14.) The Office and LOST. Two things I have spent watching countless hours of... but have always brought a smile/fear/confusion/frustration to my face!

15.) Appreciation for veterans. Working with and hearing the stories of senior citizens makes you appreciate life and life in America even more than I did before. I am so grateful to have heard some of the most incredible stories from our "Greatest Generation".

16.) Letting myself be emotional. For a few years, I couldn't cry. I am now glad that sometimes, it just happens.

17.) Dancing at Ziggy's. Actually, dancing anywhere in public and not caring what others think. What a freeing feeling!

18.) Sushi and edamame. Because something so simple, is so so good.

19.) Running 3 miles. This may be nothing to some people. But to me, its huge.

20.) Seeing JS smile again. A real smile, one where I know God has done a work in his life. prayers are being answered!

21.) My iPod touch. Who knew a little device could do sooo much? Not me.

Well again, I could go on and on and on. But I won't. thanks to each of you who made this year the best one yet! I love and appreciate all you do and mean to me!

...

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

anyone got a label remover?

I think I have a label on my forehead that only certain people can read.

This label reads "Please tell me about your single son/grandson." After reading this mysterious label on my forehead, these people usually tell me about their "special boy" that they would love for me to meet, as well as what he's like, what he likes to do and most importantly... why he's single. In this unfair game, I have been told about everyone from a chemist to an actor.

I usually sit their awkwardly trying to think of an excuse not to meet "Mr. Right(now)".

October... already?

I'm sorry G. It has been a while. But unlike ML thinks, its not because I've been sleeping my days away. No sir. It's because these past two weeks(+) have been busy, busy.

As you probably know by now, I love being busy. But I can honestly say, that I am excited to be over that hump of chaos for now.

So what have I done with all this spare time? Model home, Milledgeville, a birthday (not mine... although, it is coming up. you know I had to throw that out there=), Office, Survivor, and Amazing Race premieres, a fight in Zaxby's, the GEORGIA NATIONAL FAIR, and Capture the Flag. Oh and did I mention the Model Home?

Well, I'll start off by telling you about the Model Home. You know how in the last post I told you I was excited about getting stuff moved, well we took a day to move all of our things from storage into the new model home, GARDEN HOME 25. While initially I was excited, my feelings quickly turned to "let's just get this over already" soon after it began. pressure. I don't like working on something that I am not passionate about, so I tried to change my attitude after the movers arrived 2 hours late. So after about 3 hours we finally had the home set up with the furniture we had. I went back to the office relieved that the beginning and "hardest part" (or so what I thought would be the hardest part) was over. Then I found out that the model home really was GARDEN HOME 24. Awesome. The homes are so similair and even share the same driveway. The only differences are the flooring and countertops, and the home is reversed. So after finding out I screwed up big, I laughed at myself/wanted to cry but realized it was just a lack of communication. Well, the movers came back out and switched everything. (applause!) Then started the second step. I like to call it Linens and Things. No, not like the store that went bankrupt, but like when you buy stuff to put on beds, in bathrooms, etc. I now have a fear of registering with whomever God has me to marry after this experience, and let me explain why. Dear readers, shopping is not something I love to do. While I like finding a good deal and having new things, I do not like wasting time in stores looking for things. But that's just me. Well, we have done alot of this Linens and Things shopping in the last few weeks. I probably will not be visiting, Presidential Parkway for awhile. But, the good news is, IT'S DONE! Well, the parts where we have to leave work for a few hours to go look for lamps that will look good on our entry way table that looks like a pieice of Chinese architecture (not really, but sort of). So next time you go to by a shower curtain, think of me... or actually, don't=)

Last Wednesday, I decided to make a quick trip to see my friends in Milledgeville. I went to Northside for the college Bible study that was a big part of my four years in college. It was so good to see everyone and be in a room with people my age! It's rare that I get to be with people my age, and that is something I've been praying that the Lord will give me more of an opprotunity with. After church, I stopped in for a quick visit with my good friend, JM. She is one of the most honest, encouraging people I know. So we "caught up" with each other before she had to go to her sorority's flag football game. It was such a refreshing and fun night!

Next was Baby Ruth's 17th birthday party. Excuse me, but when did she grow up? I don't know. It's crazy to think that 17 years ago Papa (my dad's dad) came to wake me up from my nap at Hope Christian Academy to tell me that I had a new sister. I still remember being jealous of her and our living room filled with presents. Now, she is a beautiful, smart girl... who gets whatever she wants. jk, RCQ.

So I won't take too much time here, mostly because I don't want to sound like her. As much as I hate admitting it, I love Thursday night tv. And The Office was sooo gewd. Jim & Pam. 4-eva... let's hope=) But I think the most hilarious part was when Kelly was gagging after she drank her diet drink.

Now probably the most hilarious/scary thing I've witnessed since I blogged to you all last was my experience in Zaxby's. A woman happen to reach over another while filling up her drink... and she lost it. Yelling ensued as I stood there speechless (wanting to laugh my head off) and scared that someone would pull a gun, I mean afterall, I do live in GAWWWJA. Anyways, the husband starts yelling and saying "you will not talk to my wife like that... MANAGER!!! MANAGER!!! I'LLCALL THE COPS ON YOU!!!". Really, I don't know how people can act like this in public and feel that this is normal.

On Thursday, one of the greatest things began in Middle Georgia... the GEORGIA NATIONAL FAIR! For those of you who have never experienced this simple wonder, let me give you a little piece of advice, COME! I don't know what it is about the fair but I love it. Maybe, one reason I love it so much is because it reminds me that fall is coming, or in this year's case, is finally here! So many leaves on the trees are already orange and red and that always brings a smile to my face.

Speaking of trees... I went to a pecan orchard last night and played capture the flag, by myself. Just kidding... that was lame. but for real, in my game playing hours, I did get a few people in jail (mostly because they were confused and not because of me being faster than they) but I did not get the chance to hold a flag in my hand. When I was not playing though, I was staring at stars... goodness gracious, they were beautiful. The last time I watched stars like that was when I was at camp in Summer 2006, aka... too long. I hope I will take time to look up at the stars more often, because when I do, I'm always reminded of how creative our Creator is.

Oh and did I mention that tonight is CFCA's homecoming? Has it really been five years since I was a senior in high school? In the words of Brian Fellows, that seems "crazy".

But even crazier that I'll be 22 in 10 days. (yes, I brought it up again=)

delayed posting...

I've been so tired lately. Can't really think of a reason either. I've overslept through my alarms for about 20 minutes each day this week because I've been in such deep sleep. And weird dreams too. Sometimes I know I am dreaming but I can't, no matter how hard I try, wake up.

Ruthie and I have been making pointless videos to send to Caleb on his facebook. And they keep getting even more and more pointless. But they are fun to make, even though, its embarassing to think anyone can see them.

Tonight, my two favorite kids came over... my niece and nephew. I took Avery on a walk. It is so interesting to watch her and teach her new things. We looked at all kinds of things on our walk... including our shaddows which she kept laughing at. There was a little stretch of the road where we "ran"; I basically took big steps while she shuffled her little feet as quick as she could, laughing all the while. Then we ran through the sprinklers while she laughed some more and said, "Wet! Wet!" She is such a fun little girl and I can't believe she is almost 2! After we got back, Ruthie and I tried teaching Ethan "The Cha Cha Slide".... I was impressed because he knew how to stomp his right foot when told and so on... I love when they come to visit!

Tomorrow starts a big project for me at work. A project that I am so excited about. We are going to decorate one of our Garden Homes as a model for prospective buyers! This means alot of decorating for the next week or so. I'm excited to see what will happen. Speaking of decorating, I started painting somethings I bought at a yard sale awhile back... I can't wait to show them to you all!

(edit: This was a post I began working on last night. I heard The Office (only 6 days til Season 5!!!) coming on and I went to the living room to watch, intending to finish this when the show was over at 10. Well at 5:30 a.m., I woke up on the couch. I had slept for 8 hours... and couldn't even remember how I got there when I woke up. See, I told you I was tired!=)

let patience have her perfect work...

James 1

2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;

3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire,

wanting nothing.

5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

I need wisdom right now (actually, always... but you now what I mean). I have trouble with discernment and hearing the Lord's voice. Ever been in one of those situations where you feel that the Lord is leading in a certain way? How do you know it is Him leading and not yourself? I'm reminded that I must draw near to Him, so I can hear that still small voice that He often uses.

I read this quote the other day: "Rainbows are made up of sunlight and rain". I want to be grateful for the rain.

He speaks to me...

Do you ever have those moments that you feel like He is speaking to you directly?

I live for those moments.

This morning in Sunday school, we had some old friends come back into town and they shared with us about their summer. He read a passage that he had studied this summer and asked us what stood out.

Psalm 1 (King James Version)

1Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

2But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

3And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.

4The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away.

5Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.

6For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.

For me, one thing stood out more than the rest...

2But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

And it hit me like bricks. Dictionary.com describes the word delight like this:

1.	a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment; joy; rapture: She takes great delight in her job.

2.	something that gives great pleasure: The dance was a delight to see.

3.	to give great pleasure, satisfaction, or enjoyment to; please highly: The show delighted everyone.

4.	to have great pleasure; take pleasure : She delights in going for long walks in the country.

hmm... do I really delight in my relationship with Him? sadly, the answer to that is usually no. Not to say I am not thankful for my relationship with the Almighty Savior, but do I really take joy and have pleasure in it... and do I meditate in it day and night? It was one of those mornings where I was convicted of not being in my walk where I should be. I am thankful that I have a living God that is there to remind and convict me when I need it.

Then tonight at church, Paul (from England) spoke about those valleys we sometimes go through. I am happy where I am in life right now, but I have my moments... and days of struggle. It was refreshing to know that someone (everyone) goes through those periods where they struggle. Luckily, we have Him there every step of the way.

After church, I got in the car and before I turned it on, I prayed that I would hear a something from God. Now, this isn't something I usually do, mostly because I think its all coincidence. But I also believe that God can ordain something... even songs on the radio. I know God wanted me to hear the songs I did.

The song "Who Am I" by Casting Crowns was on. Not one of my favorites. So I kind of ignored it and forgot about my wanting to hear something from Him. The song ended and to be honest I was kind of happy it ended. Then a song that has challenged me to think ALOT lately came on next. "Yours" by Steven Curtis Chapman. An incredible song... Powerful, I tell you... Gives me chills every time I hear it (especially, the 4th verse he wrote after Maria was killed in May). So not only was I glad to hear that song, but I stopped to think about the songs I had heard and I thought:

"Who Am I?" and He told me... "Yours"

Incredible and inspiring. Hallelujah, what a Savior!

i'm sweepy...

Do you like having alot of things to do? I love it! Even more if they are fun things!

This weekend was one of those non-stop packed weekend. Sometimes I wish took the time to do different things every weekend, but that takes spontaneity and I am bad at that (working on it though).

Right after I got off of work on Friday, I headed to play in Atlanta. play, you say? Yes! I went to Six Flags with my old roommate and her husband. It was the first time I had seen her since her wedding in May and it made me miss seeing her everyday even more. We got to share stories of the people we work with and work for (mine, senior citizens; hers, children). I'm so glad we got to Six Flags too, because who doesn't want to be at Six Flags and rides over and over again? I know I do.

So I headed home late Friday night got to bed around 2:30 and then headed to bed and woke up bright and early at 6:00 a.m. Now folks, this is earlier than I get up for work everyday! And going on 3 and a half hours of sleep??? Well it wasn't easy. But it was worth it. Carlyle Place sponsored a yard sale for the Alzheimer's Association and so not only did I get to help with that but I found a few great things for myself! I got three board games for $2.00! And the best part is, they are practically brand new. So if you like playing Scrabble, Scategories, or Cranium... come to my house because I would love to play with you!

After about an hour break after I left the yard sale I then headed to work at the ice cream shop for a few hours and then back home for a family cookout with our friends Paul and Greg. Paul and Greg are visiting, from England and Australia, respectively. They are always fun to be around and they always make me feel like I am a little more educated on the world=) Then Ruthie and I raced to Warner Robins to get Freedom Fest, a concert sponsored by a church in Warner Robins. I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would, mainly because the the lack of sleep was finally starting to hit. But I did get to see some friends and walk around with Ruthie... and did I mention, use a port-a-potty!! That always makes the trip worth it. I also realized, I am not a fan of big concerts. I get very overwhelmed and tend to people watch to much for me to actually pay attention to the singers. hmm... oh well.

So that is my Friday and Saturday... check back for Sunday's in my next post!

I pity Diddy.

I just saw the most recent video from the rap star/designer/mogul/"humanitarian", Sean Combs... aka "Diddy".  Now, I will be honest, I wish I knew more about politics than I do.  And I am trying to learn more.  But his argument against John McCain's pick for vice presidential candidate?  

Awful.  

When you are trying to state your opinion on something that requires a bit of education, how about giving facts rather than blasting off the f bomb every few minutes? No thank you, Mr. Combs.

I am guessing this video was directed at "the youth of America" and as apart of this youth, I'm ashamed.  I'm ashamed that people will see this and base their vote on what "diddy" thinks.

not daydreams...

NIGHTMARES.

I just woke up from having a series of them.  It's a little after 2:00 a.m. and I can't go back to sleep now.  

In my nightmare, Ruthie and I were trapped by an middle aged man who would not let us go.  I remember in my dream sending my dad a text message with something along the lines of "Help, bring a gun, bring the police."  I must have been scared of that man.  Why I didn't call the police with this cell phone... I do not know.

In one of the others, I remember being outside our church with mom and Ruthie, and there were things in piles all around the property.  We weren't sure why they were there but as we were standing next to one of them, we saw someone drive up and light a torch to one in the distant.  Soon, alot of them were being lit and we were almost trapped inside flaming piles.  

Weird? Yes.  Scary? Uh-huh.  

get your oil changed but take an extra set of keys...

A rather productive weekend that actually produced alot of rest too. I went to get my oil changed yesterday and was pleasantly surprised to see that I was the only one there. "A quick trip," I thought to myself (this of course was after I actually tripped getting out of the car and almost fell, luckily, only one person saw me do it and laughed). Well, one can only be so positive. After the guy flagged me down to tell me my car was ready, I went to open the door and asked for my keys. A stunned, embarrassed look covered his face when he realized they were in the car. With the doors locked. So a trip that should have taken 30 minutes lasted about an hour and 15. No biggie though. Afterward, I went to an antique shop I had been eying while running office errands. So much beautiful stuff, but nothing that I had to have. Although, if the c.d. that they were playing in the store was for sale, I probably would have bought it. Next, I continued to venture in the hurricane affected weather to the great Macon Mall. While shopping in one of the stores, I managed to drop my phone, again. This time it did not come back on. So now, I am using an old one, but am without many numbers. At least this will push me to get a new one like I have been needing to for a while now. So that is all really.

What did you do this weekend? I mean, besides watch the Olympics?

not an ideal Friday.

While this was supposed to be a good day (Friday - the beginning of the weekend, jean day at work, and an ice cream truck with free ice cream!!) I couldn't enjoy it.

Pain.

That pretty much sums up my time at work today. I was the unhappy recipient of a migraine early this morning after I arrived at work. I tried my hardest to stay until 5 and almost lasted but at 4:36, I couldn't take it anymore.

I don't know what to do. It's one of those things I've tried convincing myself I just have to deal with, but it just doesn't seem fair. At all. I've read alot of different things (this of course, after it was over) on migraines and things to help. But really I feel like I've tried everything. Well, not everything. I read that many women quit having migraines when they get pregnant. hmm...

Not.

first days and peaches

I missed my first day of work today.  I woke up feeling really gross and then I thought I was going to die in the shower.  But I didn't.  I had planned on going in late, but my boss was kind and told me I should stay home.  It's good to work with someone that is understanding.  

Today is also the first day of classes at Georgia College.  This means that it is the first day in 17 years that I did not have a first day of school.  It's weird not being there but I am so thankful I don't have to start another semester of classes.  I do miss my sweet friends from college though.  Caleb also started his first day of classes today at Campbellsville.  We had a sweet time as a family sending him off, but boy, we cried alot!  It'll be weird with him not being here for the next couple of months but I am so excited for him as he starts this new part of his life.  I'll miss my brudda...  

On a much different note, someone from our church gave us some peaches that they picked last weekend and oh my goodness, they are delicious!  I'll buy peaches sometimes at the store but these are like 100 times better!  I think I'll have one now... 

it's been a while...

Well, actually only a week.  But what a week it was.

My week started off with going to church last Sunday morning and then our party of 16 (all family I might add) headed to the Mexican restaurant to celebrate Mom's birthday!   

Her actual birthday was on Saturday, but we weren't able to all get together then.  After lunch, I spent some time at home watching the Olympics (more on that later) and then went to our youth groups end of summer party.  We played (well, I mostly 

tried to play) ultimate frisbee but to my suprise Tiff had brought her cornhole boards... so I got alot of good practice in.  And you all should know how much I love cornhole practice.  

Monday started another work week.  This week was especially exciting because Carlyle kicked off their Golden Games 2008... which is their version of the Olympics.  I was one of the torch carriers in the opening ceremonies.  

This is the woman who handed the torch to me.  

I believe her name is Tippy.  She wore this outfit alot this week to show her Olympic spirit. Her white denim jacket, which matched her white denim jean capris had USA bedazzled on the back.  (edit: only at Carlyle Place are bedazzled clothing items acceptable=)  After the torch walk was complete, the participating residents and staff headed to the Grande Ballroom for Opening Ceremonies.  

These were our flag bearers for this special event.

 

After work, I headed to job numero dos... a little ice cream shop in Macon.  While sitting at the shop with no customers, I decided to take pictures to show you all why I probably should wear sunglasses to work. (edit: if you have sensitive eyes... skip these next pictures.  they are, well,  bright.)

Pictures of the shop...

The Birthday Party Table

Signs that I made for the shop

My attempt at creativity.  please don't laugh.

On Tuesday, I started another day at work and eagerly looked forward to 4:00 because Caleb and I were headed to Atlanta.

 

We went to see Brooke Fraser and William Fitzsimmons at the Variety Playhouse!  Both were so so good!  I wish I could sit through it all over and over again. 

 

Then after the concert we met Brooke... no biggie, except for I think Caleb is even more in love than he was before the concert.

 

Wednesday. ah yes, Wednesday. Work was normal, busy, but that is normal.  That night I hosted the Golden Games 2008 Table Tennis matches.  To be quite honest, I don't think I have ever played an actual game of table tennis.  But apparently, the a few of the residents at Carlyle Place have.  In fact, one was some kind of big champion when he was in high school.  He took the silver medal. 

This is a picture of all the participants and spectators at our event.

And now one of our competitors... the gold medalist is on the end with the red paddle.

Fast forward to Friday (mainly because I can't remember what I did Thursday).  The closing ceremonies were held and medals were awarded to those participating in the Senior Games.  Overall though, the highlight of my day was seeing the movie I have heard everyone talk about for the past month.  The Dark Knight.  Although, I made the mistake of going to see it alone, and was quite frightened in several parts of the movie.  Luckily for me though, there were a few other people in the theater to make me feel like I wasn't totally alone.  In fact, I think the guys behind me got a good laugh when I jumped out of my chair and screamed in the pencil trick scene with The Joker.  Speaking of The Joker... holy canoli! Heath Ledger did an incredible job of portraying someone so evil.

And today... well I made my way up to Carlyle to check on a move. After this, I hosted two birthday parties at the ice cream shop and gave people candy, cake and ice cream.  That is a fun job, because who can really be mean to someone who is giving you candy, cake and ice cream?  

So this is my week... in a nutshell. 

A rather large nutshell with pictures, I guess.  

reflection on a friday night...

When I think of Zen, I think of a peaceful state, like say, a Zen garden that is supposed to help calm and focus you.  Well that was until tonight when I ate at Zen and had the most ridiculous waitress.  This is the most I will talk about this "experience" because it isn't worth much more than that.  However, the sushi and the company were fabulous.  

This is not an easy part of life... but then again, what part is?  I am glad I have friends to talk with and share honestly, whether it be my struggles or fear that this life holds in front of me.  It is hard to be honest about these things but at the same time, it is so refreshing knowing someone knows how you feel and understands where you are or even aren't.  

Empty me of the selfishness inside 
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride 
And any foolish thing my heart holds to 

Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you. 

che-lllooo...

I should really be in bed. Really.

But I am writing to all of my readers instead. (Hi dad, Hi Gina=)

It's crazy how fast the weekends go by, but even crazier how fast the weeks pass. I can't believe schools are starting already... did I mention its WAY TOO HOT for school to start? It was 102 yesterday. I keep forgetting that I'm not going back to school. The longest I've ever had a job was a semester or a summer long. It's weird to be at a place indefinitely. But its a good weird.

I want to take a trip. I don't really care where to but preferably by plane, and on this trip I would like to see some mountains or a beach. Or both. And I would also like to be with people that I love.

broken heart...

My heart hurts. Every time I see this picture, I am reminded to pray for this woman.

Yesterday, I was getting ready for work, mom mentioned the story that was on the front of our newspaper:
"Perry mother talks about slaying of her two sons, husband's suicide"

I cannot even begin to imagine the pain she is suffering through at this very moment. She is only 30 and has just lost her two boys that were supposed to start 5th and 1st grade this week. It really is one of those stories that seem too tragic to be true.

"Bonnie Jean Hill said her husband sat their two sons on the floor Saturday afternoon and placed shooting range-style earmuffs on their heads. He didn't want the boys to hear their parents fighting.

"He told them to look at me because he didn't want them to see him crying."

Michael Lee Hill then pulled out a 9mm handgun.

"Without moving a step, he put the gun to my 10-year-old's head and shot him" she said. "Then he put the gun to my 7-year-old's head and shot him.""

When I hear stories like these, stories where there seems to be no hope, I am reminded of the Comforting and Sovereign God I serve. No, He did not want this to happen, but through this tragedy, He will bring glory. I pray that this family has the same hope that I do.

Pray for this hurting family tonight.

*edit: to read the full article, go here

my weekend lasted only 33 hours. boo.

The weekend is already over??? It goes by so fast. Of course, most semesters in college, my weekends were made up of Thursday afternoon - Monday afternoon. How unrealistic. But I am thankful for the time that I had to be a free spirit in that special place called college. (GO BOBCATS... RAWR!!!)

I'm such an adult now... haha ... not.

a word of thanks.

I would like to say a big, and I mean big, thank you to the creator of Goody's Powder.  I don't know what genius came with this formula, but I am thankful he or she took the time to work on this product for migraine sufferers like me.  Because, I really, really, really hate having headaches and feeling like I am going to die from my head exploding.  

So thank you, whoever you are.

per-fect-shun...

I think I've realized a few things about my domestic-ality this week. After spending a week alone at home, I've realized some things that I really enjoy doing (washing dishes *only my dishes*, ironing, cooking, and small crafty projects). The problem is, I often don't have the time, or actually, I don't take the time to do these things that I enjoy. And here is why. I like for things to be done perfectly. While this seems to be a good thing, it is not. Perfection is something we rarely (or should I say, I rarely) achieve. So when things can't be done perfectly or how I want them, what do I do? I give up. I quit. I don't even try.

But when I do take a few minutes to do something, I love it. For example, tonight, I made dinner for me and Madie... (here is a small glimpse and I say small glimpse because these pictures are tiny... thanks to my awful camera phone.)







After finishing making dinner and arranging it, I felt so good. I accomplished something. A simple meal that took probably no more than 30 minutes to make. And in those 30 minutes, I was able to listen to some good music which made the experience all the more relaxing.

So now you know what's going on inside my mind. I know, I know... its so-o-o exciting...right=)

What makes you feel good and gives you a sense of accomplishment?

(edit: I know the title for this blog is spelled wrong. I did it on purpose to prove a point to myself that things can be wrong and the world still goes around. but as I write this, it is driving me crazy...=)

a note on reality... television, that is.

hola amigos.

If you know me (and know me well), you know that I like reality television. alot. I can't put my finger on what exactly intrigues me about it. Maybe it makes me realize I am not the only crazy person in the world. Maybe its just because I like people watching. I don't know.

One of my favorite reality shows is Project Runway. When I watch this show, I am constantly laughing at the insanity that goes on in their work room, not to mention all of their smart remarks and expressions that they make oh-so-famous. "Fierce", anyone? So tonight, I was pleasantly suprised that the 5th season of this gem of a show has already begun. So I watched. As one of the contestant, Stella Zotis, was interviewed, I realized that she reminded me of someone, but I couldn't think of who. After numerous interviews with this ridiculous woman, I realized who, or shall I say what it was: a poodle. I wish I could find an appropriate picture of her to show you all, but I can't, mainly because she is obsesssed with barely there clothing, and the body parts that are covered in tiny pieces of leather. No thank you. But if you have a chance, you should watch this show. But poodle woman aside, you should watch this show. Even you.

Going along with the whole reality t.v. thing... I've been thinking alot about Survivor again. For those of you who don't know, I've wanted to apply for Survivor for a really long time. The more I think about it, the more I think, "Why not? The worst that could happen is not getting on." We shall see.

What is your favorite show???

all-lll byyyy my-se-ye-lf =)

You remember that song?  To be quite honest I don't know (or care) who sings it, and its probably talking about a lack of a significant other... well, you are in luck, because this is not what this post is about=)

I am home alone for the next week of my life.  

Now, to some of you, you might not think this is a big deal.  But to me, one who grew up with six siblings and two parents (+ frequent random visitors) all in the same house until I was seven, this is huge.  I have stayed alone many a time, but this house is kind of creepy when you are all alone.  I have to go grocery shopping in the morning... any suggestions of good things to make for one person?  I'm thinking lots of fruits and veggies...

      *** as I type this I just heard the dogs barking outside and what sounded like someone        coming up my back porch. if you are reading this though, i've probably made it out alive.

In other news, I found out I get to help out with Olympics at Carlyle Place.  It was quite amusing reading the list of activities for the said Olympics--just to name a few: croquet, table tennis, poker, billiards and my favorite, checkers.  When did checkers qualify as being an Olympic event?  When you move into a retirement community. That's when.  

one of those weeks...

I don't know what's wrong.  

I'm so tired.  Overwhelmed.  My emotions are on a rollercoaster.  I wonder when this waiting period is going to be over.  

Be near...

I think I work at a museum...

This was my day at Carlyle...

Visit 7 (SEVEN!) homes at Carlyle and help our photographer arrange things to shoot pictures for our brochures for Carlyle.  I learned so much today.  And not just about lighting and and the incredible wide camera lens our photographer used, but about the people that make my job so special.  I learned about their antiques, their lives, their children, their faith, everything.  Our residents are each so different.  You would not believe these homes that I went into... absolutely beautiful, like in a museum.  I was inspired by every apartment home I saw.  

I also ran a few errands in Macon on my lunch break.  (note to self:  * a medium iced latte at dunkin donuts is much larger than a grande or even a venti at starbucks.  also... do not drink this in 10 minutes even if you are rushing. you will feel jittery for  the ENTIRE day.)

On a different note, today is Nanny's 83rd Birthday!  Happy Birthday, NANNY! (even though she doesn't read my blog, nor does she access the internet)  I can't imagine being 83.  Let's see, if I make it to 83, that will be the year 2069... holy goodness that's a long ways away.

Oh and congrats to Aunt Corky; I'm sure she is beautiful!

CORNHOLE!!!

Have you ever played cornhole?

Well if you haven't you should.  Who would have ever thought throwing a bean bag in hopes to land in a hole on the board would be so addicting?  Not a.d.d. me.  But I am hooked nonetheless.  Not many people know about it in Georgia, but whenever I hear the sound of beanbags hitting small wood boards or the joyous shouts of "CORNHOLE!", a tear is brought to my eye.

I learned of this game several summers ago while working up in Maryland.  In fact, for the past two summers, I attended "The Cornhole Tournament of the World".  Now technically, this wasn't validated by anyone other than the staff I worked with, but with all the hype surrounding it, you would have thought that it was the cornhole tournament of the world.  

Right now, history is being made in Edgewater, Maryland with the annual "Cornhole Tournament of the World" which is hosted by several staff members.  Who will be victorious?  Only time, and hopefully cottagegirl will tell...

the big decision...

In my last post, I wrote about a decision I made.  And since so many of you (Gina and Dad=) are curious to know what it was, I will tell you.  

I am going to be a surrogate mother!!!  

not.  but I think my decision is just as exciting and doesn't involve... well, the childbearing process.  

da-da-da-dunnnnnnn.....

I am officially the new Marketing Coordinator at Carlyle Place!  My supervisor of my internship (who is now my boss) had told me about the opening a few days after I started and asked me to consider the position.  Everything worked out quite well and I felt that it would be a good opportunity to get experience in what some call "the real world".  Most of all, I have a job I look forward to going into each day.  

Every day is different and I l-o-v-e that.  Sometimes I'll have a to do list of 15 things but will visit a new resident and end up staying an hour or so listening to them talk about their move and helping them with questions they have.  I love that this is a part of my job.  The Marketing Coordinator position encompasses many different things: admissions process, clerical work, special events, move-in's, refurbishing apartments, and anything else that might need to be done around the marketing/ sales area of Carlyle.  

When I was in college, I had briefly thought about doing interior design and nursing.  While I quickly realized my brain was not made to be an interior designer, I still like some different aspects of it.  And nursing, well I still have never decided against it, but just not at this time.  So I graduated with a PR degree--- which I love.  The cool thing about my job is I get to see and do a little bit of all these things - interior design, nursing, and PR/Marketing.  I know God gives us certain things that we like and I think we should use those things that He has given us a desire for.  

So that is my life for the past week.  Learning a new job and working lots, with God teaching me alot along the way.  And these aren't always easy lessons.  If you think of me, pray for me.  I greatly appreciate the prayers of my friends during this part of my life.   

That is all for now, I'm going to bed so I can wake up with the sun in the morning... nitey-nite.

loving the rain...

It's pouring outside right now.  

And I am now soaking wet.  A few minutes ago, I had the urge to run outside and play in the rain for a few minutes.  It was nice just to let go.  Being outside while the drops drenched me also brought back many good memories of camps rainy days.  After getting soaked, I came inside and ate milk and cookies.

I think I am reverting back to childhood after a decision I made today... can you guess what I decided?

Choosing to Walk in the Light...

All of us will face things in life that frighten us, but we are only defeated by our fears when we allow them to keep us from staying on the course God has given us to run.  God wants us to live a life of fulfillment and joy in Him, but if there is one thing that will keep us from doing that, it's fear.  Fear holds us back, cripples us, blinds us, and keeps us from hearing God or obeying when He speaks.  I've seen too many examples of fear keeping people from enjoying fulfilling human relationships, from taking significant steps in their careers, and, worst of all, from being used effectively for the kingdom of God.  

Too many of us avoid or run from the prospects that frighten us.  Fearing rejection, we avoid close contact with other people.  Fearing failure, we simply stop trying to accomplish anything.  And fearing people, we keep our mouths shut when we should be talking to friends, coworkers and neighbors about all that God has done for us.  

When we run from the things that frighten us, we've handed Satan the victory in a gift-wrapped box with a bow on top.  We've essentially waved the white flag and said to the Devil, "You win!" Our paralysis in the face of fear gives victory to an enemy who loves nothing more than to freeze us in our tracks, to cripple us, and to render us for God's kingdom.

Don't run from or deny your fears.  That's dishonest and only makes things worse.  Don't run from your fears.  You will have to face them one day, and you can never grow in your faith until you do.  God cares when we are afraid, and He has given us a way to confront and defeat our fears.  It's by exposing them to the light He gives us through His Son, Jesus Christ.

----

These words are so true.  The past few weeks of my life have been full of fear; fear of not meeting up to people's standards, fear of failure, fear of commitment.  I re-read this again today and was reminded how we are supposed to live out our lives: 

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; 

but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

  2 Timothy 1:7 

(edit: the writing in bold on this post was all taken from a book by Tony Evans; I only wish to be this wise with my words...)